Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I'm Not Going to Jail!



Well. Let me be perfectly honest. Between losing my Grams and having a tangle with the taxman I haven't felt like posting. Also I was alone with the kidlets last week as our daytime Nanny had the week off and Alan had to work. It was a looooong week. Lots of fun was had but parenting 24-7 mostly by one's self is hard too.


So. About four weeks ago I got a letter from Revenue Canada (woo!) stating that they needed to verify my child care claims. We e-filed and got a lovely return so they wanted the receipts and stuff which we had. BUT! Guess what? We couldn't find them. We both knew that we wouldn't have thrown them out but the thing is they disappeared. (Into what we tend to call the black hole in our house). For almost FOUR weeks I fretted and freaked and dug and went through things. It got worse in the last two weeks in that I couldn't sleep. Well, I could fall asleep but if I woke at 3 or 4 am I would be up for hours worrying. I even had nightmares. You see, I tend to have authority issues and worry my ass off about this kind of stuff. So the upshot is that we had to have everything to Revenue Canada by this Friday or we would have to PAY BACK OUR RETURN. Here's the part that sucks: I have a registered business number and pay monthly payroll deductions for our Nanny so the Government already has all this stuff!! Yet they want to harass me and ask for more stuff. Bastardos I say! I have been beside myself looking and fretting. Today Alan called the business that prepares our taxes and guess what? Turns out we NEVER picked up our stuff after they e-filed!! So I've been ripping the house appart for nothing!! Relief. Relief. Relief. Tomorrow at 9 am we pick up the stuff, I fill out forms and courier it. Disaster averted. My life seems to follow this pattern of freak out, freak out, and then Okay!


Is this just me? Does this stuff happen to any of you?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

People of The World..............


Dear People of Greece,

Thank you for your lovely feta cheese, Kalmata olives and for the humble Greek salad.

Dear People of France,

Thank you for your fresh baguettes, raw cheeses and Steak Frites. Please tell your pretty, pretty pastries to knock it off with the attitude as they come across as snotty little bitches. Desserts are not to be created ruler straight and thin with tiny designs. Also please take time to consider why the rest of the world tends to think that you are much like your pastries.

Dear People of Italy,

Thank you for hands down the best food on earth. With your Veal sandwiches, beautiful pastas, roasted meats and wee potatoes you are unquestionably the best. Wait. I’m not very fond of your desserts as they come off as very dry and tasteless. Then again I’m not a dessert person so nevermind! Buen Appetito!

Dear People of Switzerland,

Thank you for the best cheese fondue on the entire planet. My first fondue was in Lausanne Switzerland and you have ruined me for life because now nothing can compare.

Dear People of Germany,

Thank you for your schnitzel (the food that most sounds like a sneeze), Oktoberfest sausage (with the accompanying Oktoberfest mustard) and in fact for Oktoberfest itself. A holiday that is completely dedicated to wearing lederhosen and drinking beer sounds okay to me. Ein prosit.
P.S. WWII – Boo, Bad form!

Dear People of the Country that produces the most Goat Cheese in the world,

My love for you is steady and everlasting. I could eat goat cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Please don’t tell this to Parmeggiano Reggiano as he comes in a close second and I don’t want him to get all jealous and angry like the passionate Italian he is.

Dear People of the Country that produces the most Eggplants in the world,

Eggplants suck. They are simply vegetable filler that takes on the flavour of food around it and has an unpleasant and spongy texture. Please don’t try to tell me I’ve never had it prepared properly because I’ve had it done every which way til Sunday and I still think it sucks. I think people buy Eggplants because they are lured in by their beautiful purpleness only to discover that Eggplant is a shallow mistress.

Dear Cankers in my Mouth,

Please, please go away so I can eat all of the lovely aforementioned foods. You last for weeks and make me lose weight. Yes you might be a good diet aid but I don’t want to diet. Shoo! Go away!

Dear People of the United States of America,

Please take note that you are not the only country competing in the Olympics. I know this might be hard to believe if you look at your media coverage but it is true. If I hear another U.S. athlete predict an American sweep of the medals I might just have to off myself.

Dear People Who Read This Blog,

Thank you for coming out and for your continued support. Now please break out into small groups and speak amongst yourselves.
Carry on.
Update: Sweet Jesus I forgot to mention Pizza. How could I forget the most delicious ambrosia on earth? I could go on and on about about pizza. In fact I think pizza deserves it's own blog. Coming up next - PIZZA!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Rain Dancer


Last night as I was about to take Sophie up to bed the skies opened and it started raining like crazy. As I mentioned before I love a good storm so I took Sophie and Charlie out to sit on the front porch. They squealed as the mist of the hard rain came over us - sort of like our own personal maid of the mist. And then before I knew it Sophie jumped off the porch and right into the downpour. She held her hands aloft to the sky and leaned back so the rain could hit her in the face. She started twirling and swirling her skirt as she started to get soaked. Charlie started yelling, "oh no she'll get wet! Oh no!". Please note this is coming from a kid who thinks he will melt if he gets one drop of rain on him. Sophie discovered there were puddles now on the front path so she started stomping in them and was squealing, "Sophie all wet! Sophie all wet! Yay rain!"
At that point Alan came out and noted she was totally soaked. I just told him that a little rain dancing was going on and she would dry, no harm done. She was grabbing hold of life with her two little hands and squeezing every bit she could from it. She sort of reminds me of someone. Her Great-Grandma.