So You Had A Bad Day?

This picture was taken the day before the super bad day. We went to Chudleigh's apple farm and a good time was had by all. They are all squinty because the sun is in their eyes but I'm surprised at how much they actually look alike.

Okay on to the BAD day. Please know that I understand that in reality I live a charmed life of security, a loving marriage, and two great kids. BUT this is my place to let loose so I will do so. Brace yourselves.

So yesterday morning I was behind the eight ball in terms of having lunch made for Charlie etc. It was a super busy morning of getting the three of us fed, dressed, lunch made and everyone out the door with time to meet the bus. Charlie had what I call Monday-morningitis. He hates to leave me after we have spent the weekend together. He was crying as I drove away and that just feels like a knife through the heart. I know that in a minute he would stop but still it makes me feel like the worst Mom ever. I constantly question the whole working Mom thing and stay at home Mom thing and it drives me crazy.

Once I got to work I got in trouble. Now bear with me as this is very rare with "the best boss on the planet" Seriously, I'm lucky to work with this woman who is lovely and bright in every way. I'm not going to go into details but there was a meeting that was missed. We both missed it and it reflected poorly on me. I felt so badly you wouldn't believe it. I don't like messing up because guess what? I'm a people pleaser. Surprise, surprise!! I've worked with this woman for almost ten years now and you could not know how badly I felt with what went down. Also I had to miss a day last week due to a childcare situation that I had no control over whatsoever which also made me feel like crap. I wanted to crawl under a rock.

Normally on the way home from work I would have called Anne or Kimberly or my sister but I lost my cellphone last week so wah wah wah! (As an aside I placed an order for a lovely frosty pink cellphone so all will be good soon!) I picked up the kids and Charlie had a total meltdown as I didn't get the "right" babysitter to sit for less that an HOUR as Alan and I had to go curriculum night at his school. THEN, oh yes right after I gave the kids dinner and Alan got home Sophie had the most spectacular terrible two meltdown of her life. I think she screamed and wailed in my arms for almost fifteen minutes. Poor bunny, must have had a lot of toddler stress to expel. I know this is just a stage but gah it makes one feel horrible.

After all this I had to cancel weekend plans with friends, which I NEVER do in principle. BUT it was a last minute invite to Father Joe's 70th birthday. This man married my parents, baptized me, did my first communion and confirmation, did the funerals of both my parents, married Alan and I, baptized both my children and just recently did the funeral of my Grams. Alan and I have dinner with him often and he is like a second father to me. So the upshot, if you'll excuse swearing whilst I talk about a priest, oh wait, he was made Monsignor about two years ago, is that I felt like a total shit cancelling with an old friend who has become a renewed friend and she and her husband are cops and that is Charlie's dream to hang with cops. Seriously. (Sorry Kathy! You have firearms and that makes me not want to piss you off!)

Soooooooo, off to curriculum night we went to the school which was fine. We sat at little kids desks to listen to the teacher and I swear Alan's knees were up by his ears on these tiny chairs. Charlie had told me he hadn't eaten his mini-babybel at lunch and lo and behold I looked into the desk I was sitting at and there was a tiny babybel. Also in the desk was a bunch of notices to parents that hadn't come home with my sons' name on it. Coincidence? I think not. In some parallel universe my son and I are so connected it's scary.

So on our way home I told Alan that it was my Dad's birthday. I know it's been thirteen years since I lost Dad but for some reason I was feeling the sting yesterday much more that usual. I told Al that after we put the kids to bed I might need a cry. He said, "I don't get it. I don't have to plan to cry or need to that often." So I said, "Well duh, you're a boy. Boys are told not to. Girls are given permission and methinks we are better off because of it."

So after the kids were down I followed Alan around like a puppy asking for fortifying hugs and declarations of love. Poor guy, he probably just wanted to watch the news.

After a pretty good night - I only had to put Sophie down once at 3am or some other ridiculous time, I awoke at 5:45. Unprompted Alan rolled over and put his arm around me for about twenty minutes before we got up. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, "with him I am home. A new day with no mistakes in it to set everything straight."

Here's to new beginnings everyone.

Hellooooo Sailor!

See this weird thing in the picture? Let's discuss. The other day I was reading a blog of a friend who lives in Kansas. She mentioned she wanted a Kindle for her birthday and I had no idea what the heck she was talking about. I was lead to an amazon.com link and what did I find? Manna from heaven people, manna. So the Kindle is a reading device whereby you can download books in under two minutes for about six to ten bucks. This thing is as thin as a pencil and super light with an "electronic paper page" to read by. It is light, has a long lasting rechargeable battery and is wireless. You don't need wireless Internet to download anything. The cost of the downloading is built into the cost of the book. You can keep it with you and take it to appointments, download a bunch of books to take on vacation or even take it on the bus (to which Alan would say "not a snowball's chance would Steph take a bus. bah!)

Also, let's face it. Kindle is a great name. It reminds one of kindling, and who doesn't like easy, lovely kindling for a fire? Kindle is also reminiscent of Kinder, the German word for children as in Kindergarten (which means children garden) and who doesn't like that? How friggin cozy and lovely is this name?

So let's review. You can download any book in minutes and it is much cheaper than printed material and it has an adorable name. Umm I just have to say, Helloooooooo Sailor! You had me at hello.

I showed it to Alan who said, "Do it, just do it". Guess what? NOT AVAILABLE IN CANADA. Well I can't tell you about the utter disappointment. It seems we have this crazy expensively weird wireless in Canada that can't make friends with the U.S. Anyone who has tried to download a T.V. show from the American networks will be met with the evil, "show isn't available outside of the United States" message. Well hell and damn is what I have to say. I need to interview a Canadian candidate for Prime Minister to discuss this nonsense. I truly want a Canadian red Kindle and I would line up overnight to get one. Much like a Star Wars geek.

Let's reiterate. Any book. Any time you want it. Jesus, Mary and Joseph that would be the best.

Speaking of the best, let' talk about Amelia. Amelia was the cleaning lady in my parent's home when I was about sixteen. She is Portugese and the sweetest, kindest woman I know. Amelia had trouble with English back then and had her daughter call me regarding any issues, day changes etc. Amelia brought us gifts when she went to Portugal every other year and became part of our family, part of our home.

Amelia cleaned our family home after I moved out and found Dad having a seizure one day right before he passed. She was there when I came in that morning and even though her English wasn't great she could give me the details and hugged me close before we took off in the ambulance.

Now Amelia is here for us every two weeks and adores our children like her own. Even though her English still isn't great she chases the kids around and does tickle games and kisses their sweet necks until they scream with laughter. They adore her. As do I.

Now that our children are Nanny-sharing during the day at the other family's house Amelia doesn't get to see them as much. Alan and I make a point of making our house totally tidy before she arrives so that she can clean and not tidy. The other day I came home from work and our house was completely immaculate and she had done our laundry and folded it also (which I have NEVER asked her to do). I can't tell you how good I felt. It felt as good as if I had been in the Bahamas for a week. Her kindness has touched me to the core. I want to buy her a Kindle.

An Insult to Pitbulls Everywhere!

Hey! Yes I am still alive. The weird thing is that I haven’t felt like updating lately and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it has to do with end of summer stuff and beginning of school stuff. I just haven’t felt like I had too much to say which for me is extremely odd. Oh sure I’ve had opinions. I could go on for days about that crazy nutbar Palin. Alan and I love American politics and actually watch each debate and talk talk talk about the insaneness of the Republicans. It’s one on our guilty pleasures. You might enjoy chocolate? We enjoy Republican bashing. The Biden-Palin debate just might be the high point of our year in terms of entertainment!

The sad thing is we can’t seem to muster the same excitement about Canadian politics. I was wondering if it was just me but I asked my boss, a Senator’s wife, and she agreed that indeed Canadian politics were a yawn compared to American but in one sense that might be a good thing. We, as Canadians, are much less divisive than Americans. I guess that is positive but infinitely less entertaining. Well look at that. I started out wanting to discuss one thing and it turned into politics. I have much more to add about the whole Palin thing but I’ll save that for a later day. I don’t know when. Oh maybe when she has the guts to actually grant an interview. Don’t even get me started on the whole Hockey Mom/pit bull dog and pony show which is insulting to women and mothers everywhere because I might just lose my mind! Okay let’s all take a deep breath now. That’s better.

Speaking of mothers I’ve done a hell of a lot of mothering lately. My darling Alan is away golfing with nineteen other guys in PEI. He left last Friday and won’t be back until later this week. So it’s just me and the little people and I kept them busy with an action packed weekend of playdates. The weekdays are crazy too. I know a lot of you have young kids too and as you know once your feet hit the ground in the morning (which for me is around - oh FIVE AM!) you never stop until the little people are in bed. And then maybe some laundry and kitchen cleaning and voila you get maybe a half hour of TV and then off to bed. BUT I cannot have a day go by without reading.



I've mentioned this before but I must, must, must read lots, daily. It's an escape for me that I need mentally to function. Even when I have no time to myself I will get up at 2am and read for a couple hours and go back to bed for a couple of hours. I was about to say that I became a big reader at about 17 but in reality I've always loved it. Every couple of weeks my brother, sister and I would get home from school and there would be three books on the kitchen table. We didn't even have to ask Mom which one was for whom because she knew us so well and knew what type of book would interest us. Another thing my parents did intentionally was to have interesting Magazines out on the coffee table so we would casually pick them up and read. National Geographic, Owl (when we were little), Macleans, Toronto Life and eventually the Economist. I swear I NEVER thought I would read that but since it was just lying around I picked it up and guess what? It was actually interesting. That's one lesson I plan to do - make reading material available.



Anyhoo - when Mom was diagnosed I was seventeen. I could NOT sleep with worry and fear so guess what I did? I would read myself to sleep every night. Sometimes it would be a half hour or and hour but I would always fall asleep with the light on and a book most likely on my face. Mom or Dad always shut off the light for me at some point. Reading was the only way I could stop my mind from racing and worrying. Every single night since I was seventeen I've read myself to sleep - just ask Al. Poor Alan has to take off my glasses (I wear contacts during the day) and remove the book from my hands and turn off the light every single night. Since he is away when I wake in the middle of the night, because I always do, my light is still on. Who knew how handy husbands could be?



Due to all of these reading shenanigans I have read lots of stuff. Biographies, Memoirs, great fiction, non-fiction and some bad stuff too. I reread books I love so I can return to places that are comfortable and made me happy. I HATE book snobs. Sorta like people at a dinner party with black turtlenecks who tsk tsk because one might not have read a very specific Bertrand Russell or something like that. Sure I've read and loved many of the "heavy" authors but I abhor (I seem to use that word a lot don't I?) people who act like Judgy McJudgersons. I can dig a Wilkie Collins or a Maeve Binchy equally. I can read some lite chick-lit or get down with some Leon Uris or Sartre. Just give me something good something, something I can escape into.

Alan has very specific reading tastes. He's not a fan of the fiction. He loves real life adventures of life on the high seas. Real life pirate accounts or explorers or certain voyages. He keeps an atlas under his side of the bed so while he's reading he can whip it out and look up a certain island or something in his book. I often don't ask him if he's going to read but more so is he going out to sea?

If anyone wants to borrow a book - send me an email or give me a call!

Recommendation : I just finished the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and it totally rocked. (This might appeal to women more than men - but oh it was a great escape.)

P.S. I decided to do a blog today because Liz was asking why I haven't been around. Hi Liz! Nostrovia!