Oprah has really lost it when it comes to normal people. You may recall she once did a show where they took microscopic photos of bedsheets after they were slept on for a few days. The results were horrifying and I couldn't sleep without scratching for days. I once caught a blip of a show where she had a sleep expert on who said that one should change their sheets weekly. She then piped up about her buggy sleep show and pontificated that since then she changes her sheets daily. The expert then deadpanned, "well that isn't really feasible for the average person". I LOVED this guy for taking on the Op. She probably has a person whose sole job is to manage her sheets.
My advice, stick with what you've got. It's hard to stay down on the farm when you've been to the city.