My Pretty Lotus

Well excellent news from the homefront. My evil Strep has had some “complications” and turned into pneumonia. I’m a mess folks. But really that’s nothing new. After the blood tests, urine tests, and chest x-ray, I am fully tested. Two days and I will be brand spanking new. In the meantime I’m feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. Tonight Thomas is out at Tennis and I’m alone with the kidlets (furiously typing while they are watching Diego – God Bless you me Amigo Diego. Tequila for you later!) Half an hour ago as I was entreating, okay more like begging Henry to finish his (damn – not out loud) dinner for the 700th hundred time, I saw his eyes widen in horror. I turned around to see his little sister Chloe dance in a pile of Shreddies. I kid you not. An entire box of Shreddies with all of its dusty detritus was unloaded in a neat pile in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Please conjure this scene: my ruddy faced, Irish looking stout little toddler with curly strawberry blonde hair, wearing an oriental-ish outfit with lotus flowers and satin pink edging was dancing with her arms thrown akimbo in the air. Her eyes were half closed and her belly and chin were thrown out in only the way a toddler could proffer them. She was stomping a slow Hora dance in the Shreddies and started to slowly rotate in circles to the music we had on in the kitchen. It was a CD of children’s songs and this particular one was from India. With the bong of the quick drums, and the whine of the sitar and the moaning of the singer repeating the melodic word “Abaaai – yah” she was locked in a heaven of senses. Of swaying music, of swirling body, of stomping and of feeling the Shreddies turn to Shreddie-dust beneath her fat dimpled feet. In my not totally unpleasant Dexamethorphan induced fog (from the fine makers of Benelin) I let her stomp out her moment probably longer than any sane mother would have. She was my pretty ninja, dancing her Hora in the dusts of ancient India just feeling a feeling. Feeling an exotic land of sun and colour and happily, unselfconsciously, being herself. I wish I could capture that moment forever.

I had to then remove her from the pile when the song ended and then the screaming began. To give her her due she still held her arms aloft above her curly head and started crying and screaming from being taken from her far off dream. Henry hightailed it to his room and immediately returned with his new ear mufflers bought for last week’s Monster Jam. He then started yelling above his sisters high pitched and rather fabulous scream, MAKE HER STOP! MAKE HER STOP! I started feeling that fine sheen of anxious parent sweat mixed with my whole lung infection induced light headedness and yelled, “STOP!” Chloe was silenced with her hands still above her head, Henry’s mouth was in an “O” shape and his eyes were opened wide. I then said very slowly and very carefully, “IF! You help me clean up this mess then you can both,,,,,,,,,,,,have,,,,,,,,,,,ICECREAM! Well, the dustpan was out in a second and hands were shoveling Shreddies into a garbage bag at a frantic pace. Within two minutes that whole four damn dollars worth of Shreddies was now in the garbage. A small bowl of Chocolate chip mint was proffered up for Henry. Another, smaller version, was given to Chloe. She is an expert spoon user at this early age and knows the best part of the ice cream. The liquidy stuff at the edges. Not warm, not cold, just right and flavourful. She kept a smooth rhythm of lifting spoon from bowl to mouth and she raised her free hand above her head and started waving it over her curls that were now pasted to her sweaty forehead. As she did she started humming that Indian song - “ Abaaaaaaaaii-yaaaah” And once again with her senses she was in another world. I hope she never forgets that.

I KNOW! I KNOW!

Yes I have been a bad blogger. I have lots to say and a bunch of blog material in my head. Yet sometimes it is hard to just find time to get it all down. I'll try to do it more often - promise!

We are the Champions!

Henry started belting out Queen in the bathtub last night and I had no idea that he fancied himself a little Freddie Mercury.

Sorry for the shakey camera work - I was laughing too hard.

Strep-a-licious!

Sorry it’s been a while – ton’s of stuff going on so this is more of catch up blog. Firstly and foremost dear friends of ours have had two immediate family losses within the past week and a half. Yes that will be two funerals less than a week apart. The same family, holding two funerals – it seems too much to handle. In some ways the running about and organization that needs to get done can be helpful in occupying one’s mind for a while before the real work of mourning sets in. I speak from experience. The burning need to do something to help, to help take away pain is there but I also know that it isn’t really possible. I only wish there was something to do.

My husband has gone away on a business trip and we all know what that means don’t we? Somebody has to get sick – that’s what always happens. Always. This time it was me. I woke up last Thursday with a sore throat straight from the pits of hell. The kind of sore throat where one actually says “ow” when one try’s to swallow. I went to the walk in on Friday and the Dr. told me it looked like Strep but he wouldn’t write me a script until the lab results came back. Well heigh ho – that means I would wait until at least Monday. Last night (mon) the results came in – yep for Strep. I’m off to get my prescription for penicillin this morning. At least relief is in sight after five days of this nonsense. Drinking protein shakes gets tiring – maybe I should get some “Boost”.

Henry has been doing well lately but still gets the crazy mood swings from time to time. He’s been one lucky kid in that last week alone he went to The Rainforest Café, A Movie (veggie-tales) and Monsterjam – the Monster truck rally at the Roger’s centre. Yet at the end of the day if one little thing doesn’t go his way its still “The Worst day – EVER!”. Oh for the love of pete. He also get’s a bit grumpy when his dad is away but the answer is to keep him busy busy busy. I have discovered that a happy Henry is a busy Henry. We have stuffed planned for every morning (he goes to school in the afternoon). He is much better behaved when he has lots to do.

Good news! Chloe is finally becoming a better sleeper inner. Instead of 4:30- 5:30 she is actually getting up btwn 5:30 and 6:30 and to us that is heaven. It has taken about three weeks to make this change but still – small victories people – I’ll take em’.

This is probably TMI but I have developed the most frightening pimple on the side of my nose. I have been blessed in that I’ve had pretty good skin my whole life so this one came out of nowhere. I was discussing it with an officemate yesterday and we agreed it was almost its own country, its own continent possibly. So yes, I am now sporting – Nostralia! Add that to my Strep and I look as good as I feel. I guess it is best that my husband is away at this time. He doesn’t have to bear the evils of Nostralia.

In rereading this entry it seems very down but I’m actually in good spirits today (strep and Nostralia aside) in that I know the penicillin will kick in soon so happier times are ahead.

Midday update: so now due to all my noseblowing the underside of my nose has become all cracked and bloody - so it now matches nostrailia. My boss and I agreed I was beginning to look like a leper. I'm thinking the Hijab has it's merits.

No Snowmen For You!

Hi friends! A whole lotta nuthin’ is going on lately. I mean it’s really great to get back into our routine after the Christmas break. Kids are addicted to routine and the holidays only serve to mess them (and therefore us) up.

We’ve been in high-level home negotiations over the past couple of days and after we placed our offer there was a lot of going back and forth and then we finally drew a line in the sand when it came to price. (Was that sentence long enough? Sorry I basically write the way I speak – which is rapid-fire fast and long.) Basically we said that we were taking our ball and going home. We don’t want to play anymore! The irony is that that we weren’t sad about it at all. In fact both of us seemed relieved. The impetus in buying a new home is based on the fact that this house isn’t working for us. We moved into this house only a year and a half ago and we have horrific buyer’s remorse. (Definitely me more so than my husband). We were motivated to buy quickly to get Henry into his school for J.K. After about two weeks we agreed that this situation wasn’t ideal. I think I feel this more deeply than my husband but the fact of the matter is that it has a smallish kitchen and everyone knows that you spend a ton of time in your kitchen. Our house is on a corner lot so there wouldn’t be a ton of options for enlarging the kitchen since it backs onto our neighbour’s house.

I think my motives for making an offer on this other, much larger, house in our Neighbourhood was to simply get us out of here and that is probably not the best motive. So I will remain optimistic that the spring will bring more options in our Neighbourhood of Richmond Gardens. Note to readers: if you or any family member in our Neighbourhood is thinking of selling AND you have a pool then please give me a call! Fat chance eh?

So Henry was having a super January – that is until today. He goes to school in the afternoons so I try to have stuff planned in the mornings. He has skating and “fun with science” and three different playdates. The busier Henry is the better behaved he is at school and home. Yesterday was awesome. He did really great at his skating lessons and did so well in the school that the teacher commented on his attentiveness and concentration. Yay! But today. Yes today. He had a good morning of a playdate with his sister and two boys. After school the teacher reported that he would not draw FIVE snowmen. That he told her repeatedly that NO he would NOT draw five snowmen. She gave him a chance over snacktime to do it but he just dug in his heels and said no! No snowmen for you~! (Much like the soup Nazi I imagine). Dear god the pigheadedness of this child will do me in. – seriously. It’s a rollercoaster being his parent and even though it is getting easier (interestingly enough as his sister gets more difficult – thanks God that’s just super!) it still has it’s high and lows. Parenthood – what an effing quagmire people!

Dreams

Last week I had a very pleasant dream. A man who looked vaguely like Jake Gyllenhaal fell head over heels in love with me. I found this interesting because I had never really thought that I was attracted to Jake Gyllenhaal at all. I tell you I woke up feeling all warm and fuzzy. It was great.

Here’s the weird part: Thomas woke up and said to me “you’ve got a lot of explaining to do lady”. I was confused. “What are you talking about?” “Oh YOU know what you did.” Ummmmm. “I do?”

“You know what you did, you dream cheated on me!” What the hell? Was I talking out loud in my sleep or something? Apparently not. Apparently Thomas had a dream that I cheated on him exactly at the same time I was dreaming that good ole’ Jake was groovin on me. DAMN. My subconscious can’t even get things right. I sorta tried to wiggle out of it. “Well I had a romance dream about you but you looked a little different. You sort of looked a bit like Jake Gyllenhaal.” Well that was certainly a lame attempt and did not fly with Thomas.

On a totally unrelated issue: sorry I’m feeling inept with the segway’s right now! Chloe is still getting up at 4:30 am every day. It’s been two weeks since we started the whole “keeping her up later plan”. Thank goodness we are taking turns but seriously things are getting dire. Any advice would be appreciated except from my smart ass ex-door neighbour who always tells me to drug her which I would happily do if it weren’t ILLEGAL!

Last week our super-nanny and I were discussing movies. She has hundreds of DVD’s. She asked if there were any I wanted to borrow and I happily replied, “Sure that would be great. Ummm do you have any with ummm Jake Gyllenhaal? Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Good Morning!

This entry is brought to you by Chloe because her mother is too tired to write.

Hi All! Well it’s Friday morning and I woke up at a time that felt just fine to me. 4:45 am – whatever THAT means. I woke up and I really love to do my dinosaur roar immediately. I sit up and scream RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR. AHHHHH. RAAAAAAAAAWWWWRRR!! I find the louder I do it the faster a big person comes into my room. It’s great! This morning the smaller of the big people came in and sat down beside me and entreated me to quiet down and lie down. Um. No. I don’t think so lady. So I started with my best communication skills and started shouting, “Up, up, Me, Me!” “Out Me Me!” and I threw in another Rawwwwr for good measure.

As the lady person knows I need to be carried down to the kitchen and my feet shall not be allowed to touch the ground until my Baba is prepared. She may try to put me down but I simply won’t tolerate that. Once my milk has been sufficiently heated whilst I sit on her hip I then shall be taken to the family room where I lie on the couch and drink my bottle. Then I shall deign to let the lady person change my diaper. I don’t really like to talk about this but I will allow her to hold my ankles in one hand while she lifts up my butt to get the deed done. I like this done quickly with the least amount of fuss possible.

Then a Baby Einstein episode shall be played for my amusement. I don’t know why on god’s green earth the big person likes to lie on the couch at this moment but when this occurs I try to bother her as much as possible. I demand to be let out of my bouncy chair and walk around. I will wander from this toy to that and for good measure go to the lady person and either scream, “UP! Up!” in her ear or on a really good day I might take a fist and slam it down on her head. One time I even got her on the nose. That was super. I recognize that the wallop generally does not please her so I immediately flash her a smile and throw her a kiss to make up for the hitting. Baby loves you Mama!

Sometimes I decide that this whole video nonsense is not what I require and I go to the bottom of the stairs and start screaming, “ Num Nums Me Me!” Really it must be 5:15 by now and I shall not be denied breakfast. This morning the Mommy person was not in too much of a rush to bring me upstairs. Clearly I had to escalate things immediately. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my new Dora doll. For some reason even though I go totally batshit over the Dora show I simply cannot abide by that doll and take severe umbrage with her large headedness. In a blink of an eye I turn into George St. Pierre and grab Dora’s ankle in UFC Smackdown fashion. With the skill of a lumberjack I throw her down so her head whams the floor. All the time Dora is perkily yelling inane things at me like, “It’s Fun To Be A Big Sister!” or “LET’S FEED THE BABIES!” Take this Dora – and I stomp on her with all of my might. Dora is now singing something at me in Spanish and that really pisses me off. “Ciao Dora” as I fling her headfirst against the wall. Whew that felt good.

The big people are putting me to bed later at night in hopes to get me to sleep until at least 6:00 am but my goodness that is just wasting the best part of the day. Wait a sec – Dora has just started to count aloud in Spanish! Hold on while I take care of her – Knuckle up Dora, you’re in for a beating!