Oh yes, isn’t this lovely? I took a lovely smiley picture of Henry just prior to this. He was about to put his Halloween costume on and asked me if he could have some treats from the bowl in the front hallway. This is his expression exactly two seconds after I said no. It gets tiring being a parent who sticks to her principles. You have to pay the price of your convictions which in our house can often lead to heartache and loud behaviour. (Apologies to my friends in the States as I use Canadian spelling – we like to throw in that extra “u” from time to time).
Henry is a boy of extremes. My Brother-in-law recently mentioned that if Henry ever had to do a survey he would only ever chose the options of “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree”. There is no grey in Henry’s world. Everything day is the “best day ever” or “the worst day ever”. The smallest thing can tip the balance. He could have a day of a farm, a playdate, treats, his favourite dinner and then if we didn’t have the right ice cream it would instantly become “the worst day ever”. It’s very trying to say the least. All parenting books counsel us to stay the course, keep the limits etc. I’m sort of at the point of crying bullshit because either Henry hasn’t read the books or will need twelve years to make the connection between bad behaviour and consequences.
Okay enough whining about the behaviour thing, let me tell you about his school. Henry is in Senior Kindergarten. (Here in Canada we have Jr. and Sr. Kindergarten. One begins J.K when they are four. Unfortunately they usually only go a half day which creates a logistical nightmare to the working parent.) Our local public school has become a school for developmentally challenged and physically challenged children. We chose to send him to a nearby Catholic school for numerous reasons. Firstly we are both Catholic and wanted to raise him as such. Secondly we are lazy and if we sent him to public school we would have to do the whole Sunday school rigmarole and we just weren’t up for that. The school has uniforms which I am cool with as there will be no fashion angst at least until he is twelve because the school goes up to grade 8. I went to a public school and resented the long catechism classes every Sunday and the evening classes when I was confirmed.
Henry’s school is about eighty percent Italian with some Irish and Polish kids thrown in the mix. For those who don’t know, Toronto has the highest Italian population outside of Rome. That’s right, there are more Italians living here than say in Naples or Florence. That makes for some good eatin’ people. I am a fan of the Italian restaurant and boy do we have tons. I was on my Maternity leave year with Chloe so I was able to take Henry to and from school for his whole J.K. year. What an eye-opener. I would say about 80 percent of the kids were dropped off by their No-no’s or Nona’s (grandparents). I love the fact that the extended family are a large part of the children’s lives. I am totally jealous as both my parents have passed and Thomas’s mother works full time. I also love the fact that they parent as a community. Frequently on the playground a No-no would grab a kid’s collar (a kid they don’t really know) and say “hey tough guy why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” “You touch Gian Carlo again and I’m telling your teacher and Mama.” This really wouldn’t happen on a Waspy playground where everyone just minds their own kid.
There is also another strange phenomenon I had discovered. I once had Chloe with me and a Nona sort of gestured at me and said, “What. No hat for the baby?” She turned to the nearest Nona and said, “People don’t know how to dress kids these days!” Umm. Excuse me but I am standing RIGHT HERE. You want to talk smack about me then go at it in Italian. The same Nona also sort of let me have it another time. The very last day of school she approached me and another Nona and smiling sweetly said, “So, I hear you’re going back to work.” I agreed and then she said, “I don’t get it. People going around having babies and then not raising them.” Hoo boy was I pissed. I think I was also sort of shocked because before I could come up with something in reply the bell rang and my chance was shot. I don’t know, maybe she resented her daughter in law for going back to work or something. But boy did it ever mess with my head. I called my husband on the cell right after and sputtered something like, “Should I be going back to work? Am I a bad mother?” He told me I would be a bad mother if I didn’t go back to work as I wasn’t happy without adult interaction and without more mental stimulation so I would be a crabby, shitty mother if I stayed at home. Thank god I got over THAT.
Well nothing really in closing except to say that we buzzed all of Henry’s hair off last night and he looks like a Marine. With his big lovely eyes I actually think he looks more like Sinead O’Connor. This bothers Thomas so I think I will teach Henry to croon, “Nothing compares – to you” in the bathtub. Heh.
Also with the time change Chloe was up a 4:30 this morning. Thomas said he was done with that so he promptly dismantled her crib and decided that she could use a big girl bed and play with toys in the morning until we get up. Wish us luck with that.
Forgot to mention - please feel free to email me at steformation@gmail.com Also let know if you want to be added to my notify list so I can send you an email when a post is up. My goal is to update daily.
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