Thursday, November 29, 2007

Chicken Pox and The Art of War


Oh for the love of Pete. So this morning I thought Henry had a couple of pimples on his face. Most would agree this is rather unusual for a five year old. This evening during bath time upon further inspection – you guessed it – chicken pox! Rats. He has about thirty lesions on his trunk and on his legs and a new one on his forehead. Chloe also has two on her face and four on her tummy. Yay! Good times.

They were both vaccinated so they will only get it mildly according to our pediatrician. Henry was slighted devastated as they have a P.D. day on Friday and he was planning on having a huge playdate at our house with Christmas crafts etc. He kept on with the mantra: I hope they get chicken pox, I hope they get chicken pox. Nice eh? Good news I just discovered that his two good friends have already had the chicken pox so they are still coming. Woo – yet another crisis narrowly avoided. Unfortunately my children have yet again screwed me over for a nice Christmas picture for our Christmas cards because they are spotty. I give up.

On a totally unrelated matter I have decided to come back in my next life as a French Canadian woman from Montreal. I kid you not, these women are as chic as it gets and are total forces of nature. They get what they want by sheer will and cojones of steel.

I have been in high level, Middle East type of negotiations with a woman at a very high end Montreal restaurant. As I mentioned before we are having our board meeting there and I am arranging a number of social events besides the whole meeting because I am the ONLY staff. We are having a 5 course meal for eleven people so we were hammering out menu details. This seems like a simple thing doesn’t it? Well no. I spent a half hour with Manon arguing about risotto. “Roasted piglet risotto with shavings of fois gras” to be exact. We decided it might be too heavy so my mission was to request alternatives. She was like a wall. “I do not understand. It eees not so very heveeey! I myself am a smaaaal personne and it is not tres filling. It is inconceivable to moi that you should not enjoy this lovleeeely offering. After all eet eees the best that old Montreal has to offer! The only other alternateeeves are tings that a large groupe would not find as enticing, such as the sweetbreads and the slab of fois gras!” She. Was. Killing. Me. Somehow she even managed to throw in the words, ridiculous and insupportable. She was a master.

So I switched my ploy and mentioned that we did not want the chestnut dessert she was offering as the chair of the board did not enjoy chestnuts. It started again. “eeee does not like the nut? But eet ees lovely! Is eeet all nuts eee does not enjoy? I told her, “no we would be happy with any other nut just not the chestnut.” She mumbled something about speaking to the pastry chef about an alternative and then said “ but really about the Risotto, I must insist!” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was done. I said, “FINE. I’ll give you the risotto if you can give me a different dessert. She turned sweet as pie. “Lovleeee, we look forward to ‘aaaving you on Friday!”

I was totally defeated. I had to explain to the President that I was no match for Manon. Being a Classics and Philosophy Major I am not altogether ignorant of “Sun Tzu and The Art of War” but believe me when I say that Manon must have studied at the feet of a Buddhist master because dammit she had me at every turn.

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